The truth about grieving

Kathleen Forman, Editor-in-Chief

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Two things never fail to occur in a person’s life; love and death. It should be basic human right to experience these because they both incite strong emotions that one might never feel otherwise. With love, the pain of death is amplified and the hurt is stronger. With death, the love of people around you reaches out like a safety net, never failing to catch you. Each of these emotions are so tightly woven together, they’re almost inseparable. But, grief is becoming more rushed. Society is pushing the grieving period to a mere two weeks. They regulate how to grieve, and we’re left wondering, can there be a right way?

 

All it takes is one Google search of the word grief to find dozens of articles about what grief means and that every person grieving has to go through five stages. My hope is that these were written with the best intentions, not to make a person who just lost someone feel as if they have to move quickly from stage to stage before they can let go of their misery. I pray that there was no part of their minds that said they should create these science papers filled with facts supporting their idea of the correct way to grieve to push people into rushing through their pain quickly and efficiently. They say to take a few days off from work, and then back to hustle and bustle of everyday life.

 

Maybe these scientists are right, that to move on from your sorrow, there are certain emotions you need to feel. But what they’ll never be able to explain is the most efficient way to grieve. How can they predict or explain the easiest way to cope with loss, when each loss is so heartbreakingly unique. There’s no quick and easy cosmetic fix for pain someone grieving feels.

 

The truth, I believe, about grief is that there is no truth. No formula, no list of stages, no doctor, psychiatrist who can regulate what’s normal or what needs to occur because there is no such thing as a normal death. Every person is so different and touches life in a different way, there is no way to judge how the loss of them will affect people.
My advice to everyone is dealing with a loss, don’t try to find that formula or article, just grieve. It will shape you into a stronger version of yourself and the brokenness that follows death is worth loving, and living, for.

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The truth about grieving